# Holiday toy shopping suggestion



## slotcarman12078 (Oct 3, 2008)

There's more to life than slotcars!! OK, maybe not.. But other toys are a necessary evil, or the pick up and brush supplies will dwindle to nada.. But there is an alternative to running laps and still keep the slotting spirit alive between track visits!!!

INTRODUCING... HOBBYTALK CHATROOM ACTION FIGURES!!!
Here is the first release in the series!!!











This limited edition action figure is sure to be a hit with all slotheads and will only be available for a limited time!!! Only 100 of each piece will be produced, so collectors take notice!!! Almost guaranteed to appreciate in value!!! Be sure to check back for the rest!! New releases every month!! 

GET ONE TODAY!!!!!


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## win43 (Aug 28, 2006)

TOO FUNNY.......


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## bobhch (Apr 22, 2007)

*Is Joez next...*

So do you plan on making a Joez figure dressed in Leather with a Mullet?

Bob...to easy...zilla


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## gear buster (Dec 1, 2005)

:jest::jest::jest:
Now thats funny...


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## roadrner (Jul 21, 1999)

Yeah, you have to laugh at that one! :dude: rr


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## slotcarman12078 (Oct 3, 2008)

*Release Two!!! Just in time for Christmas!!!!*

Hutts are very cool, highly intelligent, very interesting creatures.... When they aren't very busy with forty or so slave Leias, or smoking their water pipes, they're busy in the slot cave doing what comes naturally!! 

Introducing, The Resinmonger Chatroom Action Figure!!!
Second release in the series!!!!










This limited edition action figure is sure to be a hit with all slotheads and will only be available for a limited time!!! Squeeze his belly and he starts channeling voices from the "other world"!!! Only 100 of each figure will be produced!! Almost guaranteed to increase in value!!! Sorry, slave Leias not included!!

GET ONE TODAY!!!!!


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## Bill Hall (Jan 6, 2007)

Hahahahaha!

OMG is the Sir Thomas Wadsworth Hogbottom really chanelling Lord Montoilete' again.

Brace yer selves fellahs, let's all remember that Ujoe has an entire thread of pictures to work with here...

It's only a matter of time before your number comes up!


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## slotcarman12078 (Oct 3, 2008)

I noticed you pulled your picture quite a while back Bill... If you had posted one.. You may be one of the lucky few.... Hehehehehehe!!!


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## 1976Cordoba (Sep 20, 2000)

Can I get two of the slave Leias instead?

No offense, Russ, but -- ya know.

:freak:


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## resinmonger (Mar 5, 2008)

Resinmonger will personally autogragh the custom packaging of each non-action figure sold. 

Why is it a non-action figure you may ask? Well this Hutt mostly sits at a computer at work and comes home to sit at a computer. Mostly. He never actually races, paints, or builds. He may pontificate if supplied with enough Patron tequila. 

He used to prefer Jose Quervo but he realized that Patron sponsors a cool Acura LMP2 in the American Le Mans Series. Of course, the Hutt does not actually go to the races due to extreme laziness and the fact that he spends all available cash on slot toys. This is another characteristic of a non-action figure. (See what the Hutt is missing at the links below.)

http://www.americanlemans.com/home/ALMSHome.aspx 

http://www.patrontequila.com/racing/

And pull strings are so last year. Why pull a string to get your adorable Hutt talking when you can squeeze his ample belly. You get cool sound bites such as where to buy silicone tires, how his friend Stubby lost his arm to 440X2 toxic tires, the livery of Denny Hulme's Lola T70 MKII at the 1965 Bank Holiday event and what car finished last in the 1953 Carrera Pan America. 

As an added bonus, set your Hutt non-action figure near your computer, bring up HT's Slot Car Modeling/Customizing, show him threads such as Hillltop Raceway, This Week in Model Murdering, The Bob Zilla Show, etc. and enjoy genuine Hutt Drooling Action. (Note, manufacturer is not responsible for damage to your computer components if exposed to Hutt Drooling Action.)

As if this wasn't enough, your Resinmonger non-action figure will also make random references to 60's and 70's Rock Music.

Don't you want a big Hutt to love?
Don't you need big Hutt to love?
Wouldn't you love a big Hutt to love?
You better find a big Hutt to love?

Think this is all you get? Well think again. The Resinmonger Chat Room non-action will also randomly quote stuffy phrases form really, really old dudes. See if your vintage Talking GIJoe/Actionman figure can top that!

Get your Resinmonger Chat Room Non-action figure today!

(Batteries not included. Drool refils are due in from China any day now. They have already been shipped, may have been shipped or may be delayed by 90 or more days.)


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## slotcarman12078 (Oct 3, 2008)

*Holy cowabunga!!*

Looks like Slot-tards Incorporated marketing team should have consulted the "Hutt Master" prior to this shameless poorly thought out sales campaign!! After all, who knows a Hutt better than a Hutt!! Clearly, the marketing team had limited knowledge of real Hutt activities (or the lack there of) and should have done their homework!! As CEO of Slot-tards Inc. I would like to personally apologize for the poor judgement of our marketing personnel, and hope that future releases of our HobbyTalk Chatroom action (and non-action) figures will be a bit more accurate... And while I don't usually drink tequila, I'm sure those Patron Tequila girls could convince me to... ummmm.. over do it...


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## resinmonger (Mar 5, 2008)

This just in, the factory in China was actually able to find non-melamine encrusted chips for this non-action figure. As a result, your Resinmonger Chat Room non-Action Figure features a full baker's dozen of bonus sound bites:

1) Ummm Princess Leia

2) Ummm Tycos!

3) Let's go race Tycos with NTx

4) Let's watch the Resident Evil Triogy

5) Ummm Mila Jovovich is great as Alice

6) Hey! Buy some more Ferrari 250 GTO bodies from Giperjet!

7) Woman, fill my glass with more Patron!

8) Woman, let me out of the garage!

9) Woman, it's 57 degrees out here. People can't survive at this hostile temperature!

10) Ok, I'll go to see "Four Christmases" with you. Just let me out of the garage.

11) Well somebody is finding those Mini Lindy vans. What's your major malfunction?

12) Wow, don't you wish you could make cool diecast conversions like VideoJimmy?

13) I swear that was my last ebay purchase. Really.

Isn't that simply adorable? There are only 125 of the limited edition run of 100 figures left. Get yours today. Check our webcam for updates on Drool refill availability.


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## slotcarman12078 (Oct 3, 2008)

*Lololol*

I still want to know how you managed to aquire all those Leia slaves... I could use a few myself!! Locked in the garage..eh? OMG!! ROTFLMAO!!!


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## SplitPoster (May 16, 2006)

Do you guarantee delivery by Christmas? And will you have alternate sound chips available? I want two! One for the living room to share a bottle of Patron with (then wake up the next morning and say "What is THAT - ow,my head.") and I KNOW my wife would appreciate a "back seat driver" Hutt. "Approaching Sonic! HaaHaaHaa"

Most impressive number one. And if this marketing team had been in charge, Crosley and Gogomobile would still be making cars.


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## slotcarman12078 (Oct 3, 2008)

*We can't promise anything..*

Working off AW production and distribution standards isn't easy..Let's just figure on 90 days past Christmas for a start.. But at least our action and non-action figures "bumpers" aren't crooked... I mean, of course they'll be delivered in time for Christmas...We're just not sure which Christmas you're referring to...2009 is "looking fine".. 

We are constantly exploring alternate sound chips for The Hutt non action figure.. and a modified for GPS version is in the works as we speak... This will be tied into the drooling action feature, so you will have two separate warnings when approaching a Hutt's favorite eating establishments.. Note: Manufacturer not responsible for damage occuring to car stereo systems from Hutt Drooling Action...


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## resinmonger (Mar 5, 2008)

Breaking news: New GPS driven sound bites:

Mid-West: Ummm White Castle. Love dem sliders.

Greater Cincinnati area: Ummm Skyline Chili. Extra spagetti on my 5-way Chili, please.
- Let's stop by CincySlots!

Milwaukee: Of course Doba wants us to drop by - it's only 3:00 am.
- Who's up for Lucky Bob's?

Mid-Ohio: Ummm Brautwurst...

Road America: Ummm Roasted Corn on the Cobb and a Brautwurst. Seconds please.

Laguna Seca: Where are the Brautwurst? You call this pig swill food?

Louisville: Hey, let's go to the Hitching Post. Let the askholes sit at the low end of the table.
http://wave3.zipscene.com/restaurants/view/4227
- Ummm Lentinis. 
http://www.menuism.com/restaurants/dd5pBKR4ar26RAabBlKsEs-lentinis-little-italy-louisville-ky
- How 'bout them Cards!

West Lafayette, IN: Go Boilers! 
- What do you mean it's still a DRY CAMPUS? Let's go to Champagne Urbana!

Warner-Robins, GA: Take me to McCalls for some home made soup, Fool!
http://local.yahoo.com/info-1382352...rner-robins;_ylt=AidHKxh_D1EFwsuB53WkWgcIQWoL

USA: The Colonel's got 11 herbs and spices. Most resturants only have 10. The Colonel's got one more.

Mid-West and South: Why yes, I'd love another helping of Bob Evans Biscuts and Gravy. Extra gravy, please.

Interstate Highway System: Ummm Stuckey's Pecan Log Roll......
http://www.stuckeys.com/

Mexico: Mas tequila, por favor.

Hawaii: More Mi Tai, please.

Chicago: Cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger, Pepsi!

New York: Ummm real pizza. More please.

Anywhere: Who put Budweasel in my glass? I ordered BEER!

Anywhere: Do you have that powder mix to put in Coors Light so it has taste?

Anywhere: There has to be a Hooters that Bobzilla hasn't beaten us to!

UK: How much more grease could there be in these Fish and Chips? None! 
- Please, no more warm beer.

France: Why can't you teach the English to cook? 
- Beaucoup de vin s'il vous plaît.

Czech Republic: Wow, CZ 75's on sale - stock up! 

Driving with TM: I'd never have found this place without your expert navigation, sweetheart. 

- Of course I don't mind stopping at another craft store, dear. 

- No, I really do appreciate your constant objective observation of my driving habits, sugar plum. 

- We're taking your mother too? Am I blessed or what? 

Shopping with TM: Of course those jeans don't make your butt look fat. Your butt makes your butt look fat! Ow! Quit, that hurts! Come on, this garage is cold! Hey, don't put that jar in the microwave! Shamon!


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## bobhch (Apr 22, 2007)

*Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Wings sound good right about now...*

RALMAO ....UtherJoe my side hurts...ahahahahahahah Good read man! 90 days...hahahaahhaahhahahaha 

Are these 4 gear GPS driven sound bites?

Hooters gal figure says, "Sure you can see them!" (her chicken wings)

"Who cares if they are real or not" (rubber chicken wings)

& last but, not least "I'm not talking about moving in...I just want to see you tonight". (bring some wings)

Bob...those liea slave girls look like wings to me (Mmmmmmmmmm)...zilla


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## slotcarman12078 (Oct 3, 2008)

*Who's got the COOOOLEST pit buildings??????*

Why that would be our very own Doba, that's who!!!!! After his stunning review of the newly released Mega-G, and an immediate follow up with Mega-possibilities, it was a unanimous decision as to who should fill the third HobbyTalk Action Figure space!!!

Introducing..... The 1976 CORDOBA Semi Action Figure!!!!!
Third release in the series!!!










This limited edition semi action figure is sure to be a hit with all slotheads and will only be available for a limited time!!! Only 100 of each figure will be produced!! Almost guaranteed to increase in value!!! Sorry, Lego Pit Buildings are not included!!

Get one!!! Today!!!!


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## 1976Cordoba (Sep 20, 2000)

Very nice!  
Legos not included - hahahahahahaha.

Recipe card for Roast Duck with Mango Salsa on back of package.

Check out the interactive website -- Here.

So easy a . . . well, ya know. :lol:


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## JordanZ870 (Nov 25, 2004)

Holy Hannah! Chat room (semi)Action figures!

Dear sirs...

I am very interested in purchasing your semi-action figures. I would like to start with the current one that you called 'Doba. I understand that it will not come with pit buildings of any sort unless I choose to cut some square holes in the shipping carton.
I need to "GET one Today!" as the likeness is simply astounding!

Further more , if it is possible, though not too likely, I would also like to purchase the first two semi-action figures in this series. I know that demand must be quite high as they are all limited editions, but would be willing to pay DOUBLE for them that I might have a complete collection.

Resinmonger will certainly be a welcome addition to my display center even though I know that he does not come with a slave Leia. I think that the Nuther Dave semi-action chat room figure, with his gorgeous detail may fill in quite nicely for the princess if squinted at "just right" !

These semi-action figures are simply stunning and a MUST HAVE for my collection!

Please respond in kind, sirs. I shall endeavor to remain posted near my mailbox (don't worry, I have a mini-frig and a chair) until I hear from you.

Sincerely, 
joez


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## slotcarman12078 (Oct 3, 2008)

*Last minute Christmas shoppers are always welcome.....*

Guaranteed Christmas delivery provided Christmas is 90 days past projected delivery date..Give or take another 90 days...


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## Bill Hall (Jan 6, 2007)

LOLOLOLOLOL!

You guyz are gonna scare the new members off!


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## resinmonger (Mar 5, 2008)

Can I get my Cordoba Semi Action Figure in time for Christmas? 
Which Christmas? 
Can I buy the optional "visit to Lucky Bobs accessories"? 
Does the Cordoba Semi Action Figure have any sound bites? 
Will you market the Cordoba Lego Pit Buildings as an option set?
What brand of beer does the Cordoba Semi Action Figure prefer?


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## slotcarman12078 (Oct 3, 2008)

Ohh all these questions!!! My head is spinning!!! :freak: 

We can still guarantee delivery in time for Christmas!!!! 2010.. 

Sadly the shop that made the "Lucky Bobs" accessories closed down... I'm pretty sure the accessories will show up on Ebay molded in non standard colors.. Hot Pink and Lime green are hot in China right now... Who knows who ended up with the molds???? 

Talking Doba bobble head semi action figure plans are on the drawing board right now, but I think our voice tech spilled a cup of coffee on them, so plan on an additional 90 days past the regular 90 days past the planned release date of 2/31/2009. 

The Doba Lego pit building kits will be available as soon as the molds can be slipped out of the lego plant. They will be available in Hot Pink and Lime Green...

Guiness is the preferred grog.

See!! Real time answers and customer service from a real corporate guru!!!! :dude:

How cool is that????


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## slotcarman12078 (Oct 3, 2008)

*Diversification is the key to a successful business..*

We here at Slot-tards Inc. are always scanning the web to bring you the coolest, most innovative toys available on the market today!!!! Pouring through thousands of slotcar related forums, we are constantly on the lookout for new things that will enhance your slotcar driving experience!!!



In light of some recently unfolding events on HobbyTalk, our Research and Developement team jumped right on to an issue of major importance pouring hundreds of manhours into a solution for this woeful dilemma!!!!! 




Announcing!!!! Slotcar Driving Goggles!!!!





What do your eyes look like after straining to see your tiny little HO Scale car as it cruises past the 60" mark?????? Tired of limited visibility as your miserably small car disappears into the great unknown after a short distance of travel??? Do your eyes look like this guy's after just a few feet of driving???? 

















We have just the solution for you!!!!!





Slot-Tards Inc. has exciting news!!! No longer will you need to strain your eyes to drive your HO Scale slotcars!! You'll be amazed at the new found detail that you thought was lacking from the smaller, childish, diecast looking scale that you thought was for children only!!! Amaze your friends as you maneuver your tiny little HO scale car up to distances of 20 feet..Yes..20FEET away from you!!! ChecK out this guy!!! He thought only "large scale" cars had details....































This was the reaction of nearly every "large scale" user we surveyed!!! Jaw dropping realism was achieved within moments of equipping them with our new vision enhancement eyewear!!!!Available everywhere slotcars are sold




Caution!!!!! Do not use while driving, or relieving yourself!!! 




GET A PAIR!!!!! TODAY!!!!!!


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## resinmonger (Mar 5, 2008)

I need six, please. Four the drivers of my 4 lane track and 2 spares 'cause Hutts always seek to mitigate risk.


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## JordanZ870 (Nov 25, 2004)

I would also like 6 pairs.
I have about 70' of 4 lane track wrapped onto a 4x16 table and my 2 marshals are posted at the ends. I want them to be able to see the cars and each other too, hey!

HO...it's not just for kids any more! :thumbsup:

:thumbsup: Thank YOU, Slot-Tards Inc.! :thumbsup:


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## Bill Hall (Jan 6, 2007)

Hey Ujoe, Will you make the accessory kit available?

A pepper shaker and some tweezers...so when it sneezes you can grab those 'lil buggers.


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## slotcarman12078 (Oct 3, 2008)

Always one step ahead of the competition, that's where we strive to be!! Tooling has already begun on our special zircon encrusted micro tweezer set, complete with real imitation corinthian leather hand grips!!! We have once again hooked up with one of our suppliers.. everyday goodz and have plans for not only a pepper shaker, but a salt shaker too!!! These will be molded in the same beautiful pink and lime green as their world famous "bags of people", and will be available in obscure scales such as 1:17, 1:52, and 1:94. 

In related news, the trip to "lucky bobs" Doba accessory kit will be produced now that we have once again hooked up with our supplier. Accessories will include the following..

1. a stack of Mega-g cars.. pink or lime green.
2. a stack of G+ cars......... pink or lime green.
3. a bag of PVT tires........... pink or lime green.
4. a stack of diecast hopefuls... pink or lime green.

Stay tuned, as another semi-action figure is ready to be released!!! Who will be the lucky chatter this time????? It might be you!!


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## slotcarman12078 (Oct 3, 2008)

*Blinky bliny blink blink...*

Who is that wacky fool with the controller in one hand, and a soldering iron in the other??? That's when he don't have a tasteless alcholic beverage in his JB weld stained hands, of course... Yes, it's time I added myself into this too long running gag.. just to be fair. And as CEO of Slot-tards, Inc., I decided to give my ugly mug some "air time"... (Sorry Coach.. I had to do it!!!) 

Introducing!!!! The UtherJoe Semi-Action Figure!!!!
4th Release in the series!!!











This semi-action figure includes an accessory pair of Slotcar driving goggles..(to fit the action figure.. not you) and the removable beer bottle can be replaced with the following accessories!!! 

1. a scale sized soldering iron....pink or lime green
2. a cigarette.........................pink or lime green
3. miniature mini lindy..............pink or lime green
4. simulated tube of JB Weld......pink or lime green

This limited edition semi action figure is sure to be a hit with all slotheads and will only be available for a limited time!!! Only 100 of each figure will be produced!! Almost guaranteed to increase in value!!! 

GET ONE TODAY!!!!!


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## resinmonger (Mar 5, 2008)

Does the Uther-Joe Semi-Action figure come with the little packets that you put in Coors Light to give it flavor? That would be an authentic accessory!

Does this semi-action figure include a sound chip?

Just asking...


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## slotcarman12078 (Oct 3, 2008)

*Who woulda known?????*

Slot-Tards Inc. always has and always will strive for accuracy in our products!! Therefore, Our UtherJoe Semi-action figure does not come with the Coors Lite beer flavor packets. We did our research, and found out he adds no flavorings to his beer!!!  We were amazed too!! 

Also, in the interests of public safety and common courtesy sound chips will not be available with this model. If accurate sounds are desired, a standard whoopie cushion is recommended, and will provide 3/4 of the noises this model is notorious for. :freak::drunk::freak::freak::drunk:

Thanks again for your interest in our products!!!


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## tjd241 (Jan 25, 2004)

*How true !!*



Bill Hall said:


> It's only a matter of time before your number comes up!


Just spotted on Evilbay and now 70% off.... B.I.N


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## slotcarman12078 (Oct 3, 2008)

OMG!!! Looks like I just waltzed out of the Blue Oyster Club from Police Academy!!! Thanks Nuther!! :lol: Heheeheeheehee!!











UtherJoe


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## resinmonger (Mar 5, 2008)

Looks like you waltzed right out of South Park, Mr. Slave.


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## Hilltop Raceway (Feb 12, 2006)

Due to the nature and characteristics of the Black Thunder slot figure, you may need to put age restrictions on that one...He looks a little scarey...RM


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## slotcarman12078 (Oct 3, 2008)

It doubles as a night light!! Sweet!!!


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## bobhch (Apr 22, 2007)

*ahhahahahahahahahahahahahah*



slotcarman12078 said:


> It doubles as a night light!! Sweet!!!


RALMAO...hahahahahahahahahahhahahahahah :lol:

Bob...this is crackin me up...zilla


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## slotcarkid12 (Dec 6, 2008)

*a good laugh*



bobhch said:


> This is crackin me up...zilla



Well what zilla said, it's weird, L.E.D. eyes kung pao grip & riding accessories. Well keep on going with the new idea's.



Ryan


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## roadrner (Jul 21, 1999)

LMAO guys! Some great offerings. :thumbsup::thumbsup: rr


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