# I don't know if I'am insulted or what.



## HARRY (Mar 23, 2000)

I went to Bi-Lo,a grocery store chain here,to pick up some things last nite.Paid for the stuff and handed the "boy" behind the register my Bi-Lo card,for additional savings,and he said I needed to update it.Filled out a little questionaire and gave it to another "boy" at the desk and he handed me a new card.Upon observation of it when I got home found it to be a SENIOR BONUS CARD!Now a quick look in the mirror shows a head of gray hair and this year I grew my stash and beard back,which are white,not grey.I'am only 47,but must look 67.I don't know weather to be insulted or laugh.We will see on the next senior citizens day there if I get my discount.My wife thinks it's funny,but we'll see.Now if you'll excuse me I have to change my Depends.:drunk:


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## Dave Metzner (Jan 1, 1970)

Rotflmao  :jest:


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## the Dabbler (Feb 17, 2005)

Sure, your wife thinks it's funny now, but if/when it happens to HER you will hear a scream miles away !!
That's what happens when you deal with "boys" today. Young kids have no concept of true "age". Someone once said: " 'Old' is anyone 15 years older than you!". It must be the beard. I have had a handlebar mustache for 45 years and have always gotten the same reaction. Hey, just enjoy the better prices and hope you don't get sued for fraud !??
Once I was getting out of the car when a litle boy & his mother walked past and I heard him tell her " Hey, that's some kind of Mexican guy !" ( I'm a pale, fair-haired German )
Dabbler


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## The Batman (Mar 21, 2000)

Just the other night I was listening to an audiotape that my old High School buddies recorded and sent to me when I was a missionary in the Philippines ( circa January 1978 ). On the tape they tell me about their ski trip to Colorado and how they met this 'Old Man' there who was building an igloo. They said this 'Old Man' was 57 years old.... I stopped the tape.... and realized.... this summer I'll only be 8 years away from turning 57 myself! At what point do I qualify as being 'Old'???? Am I there already? I guess if I had a Bi-Lo store in my area, I'd be finding out quick!

- GJS


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## the Dabbler (Feb 17, 2005)

Well at 65 I find it's some consolation to get a LITTLE respect at least, when some kid calls you "Sir" instead of " Hey Dude", or "Yo, man". Not MUCH, but some consolation !!!  
Dabbler


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## Mark McGovern (Apr 25, 1999)

This whole age thing is something they forgot to cover in Health class back in junior high. Remember the fun we had, learning about how our bodies would start to grow hair in strange places, our voices would change, and the opposite sex would begin to get interesting? But nary a word about the day when your hair would start migrating from the top of your head to the tips of your ears (and nostrils and back and - but I digress), or how it would get harder to read stuff, even at arm's length, or the day when some post-adolescent would come up and ask, "Can you tell me the time, *sir*?" Arrrgh.

What's kinda cool is, although I'm still the same scared little rodent on the inside, outside I'm grizzled, crinkled, and otherwise showing the mileage. So the kids at work give me some distance and make way and so on, 'cause I'm the Old Man. Doofus little rotters...Arrrgh.


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## Otto69 (Jan 2, 2004)

*Heh heh*

Despite some gray in my hair at 45 I still get carded. I guess I'm at that age where my reaction varies between being pleased and being annoyed


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## SteveR (Aug 7, 2005)

When he was forty-three, a buddy of mine was given one of those toy scooters as a gag one day. As he zipped around in front of his apartment building, a couple of kids started throwing snowballs at him. He thought it was kind of funny, but when he rode up to them they said "hey, that's not Ray ... that's _some old guy!"_

Harumph.


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## iamweasel (Aug 14, 2000)

I kinda like this thread. It's quite amusing.
I turn 43 this year and if I stay clean shaven I pass for early 30's but if I grow out any facial hair I age quite rapidly....I have a great deal of gray in it. Course having been married to the woman I once was married to it's a wonder I don't look 143 to be honest.


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## Brent Gair (Jun 26, 1999)

I started getting grey hair when I was a teenager. The upside is, like most guys in my family, I've managed to keep most of my hair (I'm 47 now).

When I was 19, I was at a new job and I used to hang my coat right next to a VERY pretty office girl. For months, she never had a word to say to me and I was too shy to say anything.

One day, as I was about to leave, I grabbed my jacket and she spoke. She said, "Brent, I've been noticing you...". At this point, my pulse quickened and my palms got sweaty. "Really?", I said. And then she said, "Yes, I've been noticing that you sure have a lot of grey hair".

Hmmm. Well, that was about the shortest relationship I ever had.


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## scotpens (Sep 6, 2003)

You've all heard the cliché about how you know you're getting old when the cops and the firemen look like kids. Well, guess what, folks — it's TRUE!


Otto69 said:


> Despite some gray in my hair at 45 I still get carded. I guess I'm at that age where my reaction varies between being pleased and being annoyed


Age restrictions on buying tobacco and booze are enforced more strictly these days (well, in some states anyway). Nowadays they post signs saying you'll be carded if you appear under _thirty_. If I were you, I'd definitely be pleased. As for gray hair, remember: GRAY IS BETTER THAN BALD!


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## razorwyre1 (Jan 28, 2004)

having turned 46 a few weeks back, i want to add that the real sucky thing is that you still feel 26, and have to remind yourself that you arent. i mean, where'd that old fart in the mirror come from? 
on a weekly basis, im in a situation where im surrounded by some very attractive 20somethings, and i do occasionally have to remind myself that i am indeed old enough to be these adults father. (which really sucks when i see a particularly comely young lady that i really wouldnt mind getting close to.)


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## JamesDFarrow (Sep 18, 1999)

This happened the other night. I was coming into my apartment building and stopped to check the mail box. After that I was opening the inside door when a woman, perhaps in her 20s or 30s opened the outside door and asked me if there were any apartments for rent. I told her to buzz Apt. 101 and ask the manager. Just as she was about to buzz him she turned to me as said "is this a building for anyone or just elderly people?" I said "Noooooooooooo!" LOL!
I must have spent the next half hour looking in the mirror and telling myself, that woman is crazy. I'm not that old looking. LOL!

James


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## Dave Hussey (Nov 20, 1998)

Harry - don't be insulted - take advantage! Fill out the card and get the discounts. If they're that stunned, they deserve it!

Huzz


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## John P (Sep 1, 1999)

I don't actually have much gray yet. It's mixed in, mistly in the beard, but from a distance it all looks brown still.

Despite that, I was walking out of the deli one day last summer, and one of the 8th grade girls who hangs out there for lunch smiled at me as I left, and the sweet little blonde thing said "Happy Grandpa's day!"

:freak:


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## StarshipClass (Aug 13, 2003)

It's the facial hair that really does it. At age thirty-five, a nineteen year old girl I was with thought I was fifty-five. A twenty-five year old girl a couple of years later assumed I was fifty-something. Luckily for me, they both liked older men.


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## JGG1701 (Nov 9, 2004)

John P said:


> "Happy Grandpa's day!"
> 
> :freak:


No respect ! No respect I tell ya !


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## scotpens (Sep 6, 2003)

Another unavoidable sign of aging is that you can no longer eat as much as you want, of whatever you want. At 50-plus, every so often I find myself gaining some thickness in the equator (okay, getting FAT) when I forget this simple biological fact. Oh, to be nineteen again — when you had a cast-iron stomach, a hollow leg and two anuses, and the metabolism of a shrew!


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## iamweasel (Aug 14, 2000)

scotpens said:


> Another unavoidable sign of aging is that you can no longer eat as much as you want, of whatever you want. At 50-plus, every so often I find myself gaining some thickness in the equator (okay, getting FAT) when I forget this simple biological fact. Oh, to be nineteen again ? when you had a cast-iron stomach, a hollow leg and two anuses, and the metabolism of a shrew!



:jest: :lol: The good ole days I say!!!


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## Zombie_61 (Apr 21, 2004)

My former supervisor at my former place of employment came back from lunch one day with a puzzled expression on his face. He had gone to McDonalds and couldn't figure out why his lunch cost 50 cents less than usual. When he returned the next day and asked why, he was told it was because he had received a senior citizen's discount. He was 43 at the time.

Kids... :dude:


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## Dave Hussey (Nov 20, 1998)

Hit the gym!

Huzz


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## JamesDFarrow (Sep 18, 1999)

"Just For Men"

James (who's tempted to try it)


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## Rebel Rocker (Jan 26, 2000)

Man, oh, man! Or, should I say, Man, old man!?! At 47, I still have just about the same hairline I had in high school. And, mentally I'm still in a high school frame of mind! But, for a while now, I've had the Reed Richards' thing going on with the white flaps above each ear! Luckily, I'm blonde, though now shot through with a sprinkling of white. And, now that I'm dropping weight, (I plan to ditch about a third of myself), someone suggested I get my hair colored. But, surprisingly, right now I just don't care about it. I guess there's always been enough wrong with me that my hair color is the least of my worries!!

Last year, my band did a double bill with a band that had had a good amount of success and fame in the Midwest back in the late 70's, early 80's. As we were standing on stage waiting for the sound tech to fix a couple of problems he was having, we overheard a group of people who were there to see the other band say, "Jeez, what the hell are _these_ dinosaurs doing on stage!?!" _DINOSAURS!?!? _Why, I oughta..... Anyway, we opened up with Jessica (Allman Bros.) and when our two lead guitarists lit into the dual lead, note for note, this group's collective jaws dropped. They hooted and hollered our entire set. The punchline of the night, though, was when the next band got up to play, they were older than us!!! That group of people has since been to three more of our shows, so, I guess we weren't _too_ old. Or, maybe they just keep showing up waiting for one of us to drop dead onstage from old age!!!

Wayne


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## ProfKSergeev (Aug 29, 2003)

Mark McGovern said:


> <snip> or the day when some post-adolescent would come up and ask, "Can you tell me the time, *sir*?" Arrrgh.


I address nearly every man I don't know who looks even remotely older than myself as "sir," just to be polite. And anyone younger than me, I address as "Hey, dweeb."


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## scotpens (Sep 6, 2003)

Rebel Rocker said:


> . . . And, mentally I'm still in a high school frame of mind!


You and 95 percent of the adult male population!


> _The punchline of the night, though, was when the next band got up to play, they were older than us!!! That group of people has since been to three more of our shows, so, I guess we weren't too old. Or, maybe they just keep showing up waiting for one of us to drop dead onstage from old age!!!_


"Remember — never trust anyone over thirty! And now, ladies and gentlemen . . . THE ROLLING STONES!"

I wouldn't say the Stones are old, but now they're singing "Hey, you, get offa my lawn!" "Honky Tonk Bubbehs!" "I'm Jumpin' Jack Flash, and have I got gas!" And that Paul McCartney's no spring chicken, either! Now it's "Holy crap, I _am_ sixty-four!"

I got a million of 'em, folks. . .


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## Mark McGovern (Apr 25, 1999)

*Say What?!?*



scotpens said:


> GRAY IS BETTER THAN BALD!


Gnarrr!  Chris and yamahog, I say we give this guy a Dutch Rub he'll never forget! You guys hold him down while I go break out the ol' Dremel Magnagouger. Now lessee...where'd I put that Flaymaster 40-grit sanding drum - ?


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## Roy Kirchoff (Jan 1, 1970)

How about that 1 grit Mark?

RK


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## Mark McGovern (Apr 25, 1999)

Hiya, Roy! I'm all ready to come back for more beer - I mean, the next IPMS/Warren show...

One-grit would go right through Scotty's skull and destroy all the sensory functions of his brain. Then he wouldn't be able to feel anything. And we wouldn't want *that*, now would we?

Heh heh


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## Roy Kirchoff (Jan 1, 1970)

Oh, I thought just a quick rub, you know, just to scuff him up a bit.

The taps are waiting bud!

RK


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## Mark McGovern (Apr 25, 1999)

Roy Kirchoff said:


> Oh, I thought just a quick rub, you know, just to scuff him up a bit. The taps are waiting bud! RK


Ah, but the 'Gouger isn't so easy to control - one slip and that quick rub on the noggin could become a pedicure...

My taste buds are waiting for the taps, too...anybody else on the boards who likes models and beer should really set their sights on Warren, MI come April!


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## Mark McGovern (Apr 25, 1999)

Roy Kirchoff said:


> Oh, I thought just a quick rub, you know, just to scuff him up a bit. The taps are waiting bud! RK


Ah, but the 'Gouger isn't so easy to control - one slip and that quick rub on the noggin could become a pedicure...

My taste buds are waiting for the taps, too...anybody else on the boards who likes models and beer should really set their sights on Warren, MI come April!


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## scotpens (Sep 6, 2003)

Mark McGovern said:


> Gnarrr!  Chris and yamahog, I say we give this guy a Dutch Rub he'll never forget! You guys hold him down while I go break out the ol' Dremel Magnagouger. Now lessee...where'd I put that Flaymaster 40-grit sanding drum - ?





Roy Kirchoff said:


> How about that 1 grit Mark?





Mark McGovern said:


> One-grit would go right through Scotty's skull and destroy all the sensory functions of his brain. Then he wouldn't be able to feel anything. And we wouldn't want *that*, now would we?





Roy Kirchoff said:


> Oh, I thought just a quick rub, you know, just to scuff him up a bit.





Mark McGovern said:


> Ah, but the 'Gouger isn't so easy to control - one slip and that quick rub on the noggin could become a pedicure...


You guys are a bunch of SADISTS!

And no one's called me Scotty since I was fourteen.

Anyway, I meant no insult to the follicularly challenged!


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## CaptFrank (Jan 29, 2005)

You guys are a bunch of* cue balls*???!!!

I had better get out of here before I lose _my _ hair.





Too late! D'oh!


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## StarshipClass (Aug 13, 2003)

It's all genetics. If your mother's brothers are bald, so are you or so you will be. Luckily for me, mine all have full heads of hair though the hairlines may recede just a little. My father's side of the family is a different story, however.

On the other hand, I've got bald patches on my cheeks making it embarrassing to try to grow a full beard. The most I can do is a goatee and right now, that's shaved off due to the invading gray hairs.


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## John P (Sep 1, 1999)

Luckily, my mother was an only child, so I still have my hair .


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## StarshipClass (Aug 13, 2003)

John P said:


> Luckily, my mother was an only child, so I still have my hair .


Then go on up the maternal line and check out the hair retention rate (HRR) of any male siblings you find. Did your mother's mother's brothers keep their hair?


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## vaderknight (Nov 8, 2005)

My dad has told me that in a few years, I'll still have a full set of hair. I'll have to put it on in the morning, but at least I'll still have it.

One question, though. I'm 32 and my wife is 25. Next month we'll be celebrating our 6th anniversary. Would that qualify for being old?


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## Just Plain Al (Sep 7, 1999)

Mark McGovern said:


> My taste buds are waiting for the taps, too...anybody else on the boards who likes models and beer should really set their sights on Warren, MI come April!


I, for one, am looking forward to it. Hopefully my boss won't rope me into golf this year so I can hit the brewpub with you guys.


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## John P (Sep 1, 1999)

PerfesserCoffee said:


> Then go on up the maternal line and check out the hair retention rate (HRR) of any male siblings you find. Did your mother's mother's brothers keep their hair?


 Actually, yeah, I'm pretty sure Uncle Dave had his hair right to the end.
Dad's father and HIS father were baldies. But Dad himself still had dark hair right up to the end.

Check out the flow of Payne heads in the family tree chart:
http://www.inpayne.com/charts/familytree2.html


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## Dave Hussey (Nov 20, 1998)

Actually, its got absolutely nothing to do with your mother's side of the family. The genetic trait can be passed along to the child from either parent. 

And while we have little control over our hairline, we can control our waistline. Keep fit, have fun, live long, build lots of models!

Huzz


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## Mark McGovern (Apr 25, 1999)

scotpens said:


> _GRAY IS BETTER THAN BALD!_





scotpens said:


> Anyway, I meant no insult to the follicularly challenged!


 Eh? How *could *I have been so mistaken? :tongue: 

Anyway, I'm not bald, my hair just *migrated*: inside (and - ugh! - outside) my nose and ears, back, etc. So I still have it all, but I just don't keep it on top of my head anymore...I'm sure vaderknight's father would approve. Doesn't make much of a difference to me at this late date which side of my family contributed to the, ah, redistribution.

Oh - and vadernight, the answer to your question is "No, you green little whippersnapper." 



Just Plain Al said:


> I, for one, am looking forward to it. Hopefully my boss won't rope me into golf this year so I can hit the brewpub with you guys.


 Bring him along, Al. The beer's terrific, and if we can get enough of it into your boss, we might be able to get him to spring for the tab...!


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## StarshipClass (Aug 13, 2003)

Dave Hussey said:


> Actually, its got absolutely nothing to do with your mother's side of the family. The genetic trait can be passed along to the child from either parent.
> 
> Huzz


If I'm not mistaken, the pattern of baldness can be inherited from the father but the on/off switch for balding is from the maternal side.

In any case, I'm sure it's not really that simple but that is one of those general rules as in the case of eye color: fairly reliable but not always exact. They've found all sorts of odd things genetically in recent years including "shadow genes" (which I thought of as a possibility about 20 years ago but not being in the field . . . ) and chimeral genetic structures in certain people.


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## Jimmy B (Apr 19, 2000)

I just turned 44 with a little frost on the roof. However, I have this arthritic condition in my right knee that causes me to limp a little when its cold. 
Imagine the look on my face upon entering Walmart the other day when the Senior Citizen part-time door-greeter starts ushering my over to the moterized wheelchairs.


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## John P (Sep 1, 1999)

The problem is I still feel like a skinny 20-something emotionally. I keep forgetting that the 20-soemthing ladies in the office probably see me as a chubby middle-aged perv.


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## StarshipClass (Aug 13, 2003)

^^Gee, John! On this forum I always imagine you as a person who is "20-something emotionally" too.


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## vaderknight (Nov 8, 2005)

Mark McGovern said:


> Bring him along, Al. The beer's terrific, and if we can get enough of it into your boss, we might be able to get him to spring for the tab...!




A nice, hefty raise wouldn't hurt, either. Especially if he/she is a LOT older. Why?

The bosses will pay anything to be young and good-looking again.


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## Just Plain Al (Sep 7, 1999)

^^Both excellent ideas, except he is a year younger than I am, and doesn't drink. Raises come from _his_ boss who is the same age I am, she drinks but doesn't golf.


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## Otto69 (Jan 2, 2004)

*magine the look on my face upon entering Walmart the other day when the Senior Citizen part-time door-greeter starts ushering my over to the moterized wheelchairs.* 

Time to get a cane so you can wave it around and yell curmudgeonly things when people do that


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## Mark McGovern (Apr 25, 1999)

Just Plain Al said:


> ..._his_ boss who is the same age I am, she drinks but doesn't golf.


Well, this is sounding better all the time, Al...:devil:


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## John P (Sep 1, 1999)

Friend of mine told me this: He was leaving a job where his boss was a beautiful woman. They got along fine, but kept it professional. He said she gave him a hug good-bye as he was leaving, and while that was going on he whispered in her ear, "I've been dying to tell you for four years - you are the hottest boss I've ever had!" She pulled back to look at him in surprise, then planted a big, passionate smooch right on his mouth.

Frank has all the luck.


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